Scared shitless & having the time of my life.
Maybe that should be the title of the book I write when this adventure has come to an end. Or maybe not. Or maybe it won't end. Or maybe I won't write a book. Either way, that's the truth: I'm scared shitless and having the time of my life.
I'm not always scared shitless. And I'm not always having the time of my life. This past month or so has been a good mixture of both learning to face fears I never knew I had, and experiencing things that most people only dream about.
The truth is, sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I decided to go on this journey. Other times, I can't believe how lucky I am to be where I am. Have I mentioned that I'm fickle? I think you all knew that. Nobody has ever said "actually..." as many times in their whole lifetime as I've said it in my 26 years. So I like to change my mind. Often. Constantly. However, no matter how many times I find myself wondering, "What was I thinking!?" ...When it's cold, and I'm alone, and I'm sleeping in my van in some random parking lot (yes, this happens more often than you'd think), my mind has been made up about one thing, for certain: This is exactly where I'm supposed to be. This is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. This is my LIFE.
Yes, I realize that was more that one thing. Because just as often as I wonder what the hell I was thinking, I wonder how I got so lucky. When I'm collecting gorgeous rocks from Glacier National Park (shoot, that's not illegal, right?), dancing with the wedding party at a local bar in Woodstock with my best friend, enjoying mimosas on the porch of a B&B on Martha's Vineyard with my soulmate, or happening upon hidden treasures in the most unexpected places, I can't help but think to myself, "How is this real life!? How did I get so lucky!?" I don't have the answers (which is probably why I keep asking the same questions), but I do know one thing: Although I'm often scared shitless, I'm also having the time of my life.
The truth is, sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I decided to go on this journey. Other times, I can't believe how lucky I am to be where I am. Have I mentioned that I'm fickle? I think you all knew that. Nobody has ever said "actually..." as many times in their whole lifetime as I've said it in my 26 years. So I like to change my mind. Often. Constantly. However, no matter how many times I find myself wondering, "What was I thinking!?" ...When it's cold, and I'm alone, and I'm sleeping in my van in some random parking lot (yes, this happens more often than you'd think), my mind has been made up about one thing, for certain: This is exactly where I'm supposed to be. This is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. This is my LIFE.
Yes, I realize that was more that one thing. Because just as often as I wonder what the hell I was thinking, I wonder how I got so lucky. When I'm collecting gorgeous rocks from Glacier National Park (shoot, that's not illegal, right?), dancing with the wedding party at a local bar in Woodstock with my best friend, enjoying mimosas on the porch of a B&B on Martha's Vineyard with my soulmate, or happening upon hidden treasures in the most unexpected places, I can't help but think to myself, "How is this real life!? How did I get so lucky!?" I don't have the answers (which is probably why I keep asking the same questions), but I do know one thing: Although I'm often scared shitless, I'm also having the time of my life.
